The Loving Touch

One of the hardest things about staying in isolation is the loss of physical contact. When you need them the most, you are deprived of the hugs that bring comfort and reassurance. Greg and I have had to find creative ways to be together and stay connected. We will sit on opposite sides of a glass door and talk; we try to eat at the same time, even if we’re in different rooms; and we text each other all throughout the day.

Isolation has also been hard on other members of the family, too, like the little ones. I cannot pretend to understand how heartbreaking it must be for parents with infants or young children when the parent has to be quarantined from the rest of the family. My small glimpse of that comes from being separated from my two little Yorkshire terriers, Chocolate Chip and Cocoa Pebbles, who are my fur babies.

Chip has some separation anxiety and hates it when anyone leaves his vicinity. He wants all his pack to stay together and is quite vocally expressive when he is upset. Pebbles is a mama’s girl who always wants to be by my side and is the most affectionate, cuddly dog we’ve had. She is quiet but becomes visibly shaken when she is upset. When Greg and I go on vacation, Pebbles will usually refuse to eat food the first day or two that we are gone.

This last week has been very confusing for Chip and Pebbles. They can see me and hear me, but closed doors and makeshift barriers keep them from reaching me. On Day 5 of the quarantine, Pebbles was so desperate that she took a leap of faith and Parkoured up the barrier of pillows and couch in order to reach me. For her bravery and effort, I had to give her a hug before setting her back on the other side of the barrier. I’m not sure which one of us needed that hug more.

I have the utmost respect and sympathy for those of you who are parents or caretakers of children! Trying to communicate with them about COVID-19 safety guidelines and restrictions must be difficult, and then helping them to adjust and thrive during these turbulent times must be even more challenging. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has some information that might be helpful. The Mayo Clinic also provides some excellent tips on helping your children cope during this pandemic.

While physical touch is completely missing from my life right now, emotional support and practical love have been showered in abundance! Family and friends have called, emailed, texted, messaged, and commented on Facebook posts with words of encouragement. They have also provided gift cards and meals to help us get through these weeks. I have not eaten this well meal after meal since our last vacation overseas! One friend dropped off a bag of food, vitamins, and toilet paper—things that he had needed when he went through his own quarantine and battle with COVID. Greg and I have been deeply touched by the tangible love of so many people!

Another gesture of love has been the provision of remedies to improve the immune system and combat the virus. Many have given me recipes for steam baths and herbal brews to drink. A friend dropped off some secret Hmong remedy that is “in low supply and in high demand.” Neither of us knows what the remedy is made of, but evidently it is valuable and costly—even if it just looks like crystalized minerals. My mom also created home brewed concoctions that are pungent and awful tasting! I’ve ingested more ginger and lemongrass than ever before! I dutifully use the remedies given to me, because I want to get better, but more importantly, because I want to gratefully receive the love that came with them.

I have had to get by without physical touch, my love language of choice, but I have been able to survive since other love languages have been clearly communicated to me during these days of isolation. When you go into a time of quarantine, don’t be afraid to let other people know, so that they can find creative ways to still communicate encouragement and love to you. We all need the loving touch in its various forms!